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 a girl trap in the mirror chapter two birthday pizza party

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★gakuenalice ★
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PostSubject: a girl trap in the mirror chapter two birthday pizza party   Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:55 pm

Natalie is getting ready for her best friend's birthday pizza party.Natalie best friend's named Karen calls her."Hey Karen.",implied Natalie.Hey bestie are you done getting ready?"asks Karen."Yup,im done.im on my way.",replied back Natalie."Yay,cant wait until you come.this is going to be the best party ever.No one is ever going to forget this party.",retort Karen.Natalie smiles because of what Karen said."Cant wait,Bye.",zingled Natalie 
"Bye.",sass Karen.The girls both hang up the phone.

Is Natalie on her way?"Asked Alex
Alex is Karen's brother
"Yes ,why do you always ask about her do you like her?".",Asks Karen.
"Um no.",replied back Alex 
"Yeah sure.",teased Karen
"I dont want to talk about it.",says Alex
"Oh,so you not denying you have feelings for her.",back at you Karen
"If I tell you I do,Would you stop asking me.",parry Alex
"Yes.",answered back Karen.
"Yes,I have feelings for her.",admits Alex
"You know I was just teasing you right.",asked Karen
"Yeah I do.",says back Alex
"Thx for finally telling me how you feel about her.",punned Karen
"Yourweclome.",retaliate Alex
"You should tell her how you feel about her.",stated Karen
Natalie rings the door bell
"Yay Natalie here.",plead Karen
Alex smiles because Natalie here
"Hey everyone.",mimicked Natalie
"Hey Natalie!!.",opined everyone
"Lets get this parted started,Lets dance everyone.",Karen Told everyone.

Karen plays live like kings song
Everyone dances
Everyone still dance
Alex,Karen,and Natalie do the same dance move 
Everyone stops dancing and watch Karen,Alex,and Natalie do the same dance move and everyone is enjoying them do the same dance move

all of the sudden the doorbell rings 
"I wonder who it is,My friends who I didnt invite I ask them not to come today.",simplified Karen.She answers the door
When Karen opens the door its a girl she dont know
The girl has alot of dirt on her clothes and her outfit has rips on them she faints "Oh no,What happend to her.",wonders everyone
The girl wakes up.Everyone relieved she woke up
"Here's three pieces of pizza,You look like you have eaten in days.",chimed in Karen
"Thank you.",Shasta tells Karen
Shasta eats the pizza fast.She feels better after eating the pizza
What happen to you?"Asks Karen
"My name is Shasta Gales,a guy name Ben trap me in the mirror with his wand.I was trap in the mirror for a year.I had to eat anything to survive. For five days I couldnt find anything to eat anymore.when Ben was sleeping in the dimension I used his wand and opened up a portal to escape.Somehow I end up at your door.",Shasta told everyone
Everyone shocked that she's still alive and Ben to
"Im so sorry that happened to you,what a jerk that guy is.What's his problem trapping everyone in the mirror.",said back Natalie
"He is a miserable person,he wants to take his anger out on everyone.",get back Shasta
"You could take a show in my shower,you can have any outfit you want.My room is located on the left side by the bathroom second room.",talk back Karen
"Thank you so much.",spewled Shasta
"Yourweclome.",wailed Karen 
Everyone is still shocked about Ben and Shasta still being alive

to be continued...


Last edited by ★Snowfairymusa★ on Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:32 am; edited 9 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: a girl trap in the mirror chapter two birthday pizza party   Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:45 am

Nice story, the grammar is quite off in some parts, for example:

Natalie is getting ready for her best friend's birthday pizza party.Natalie's best friend name is Karen.

Alex is Karen's brother.

admits Alex

Alex smiles because Natalie is here

I'm not gonna put them all, but I'd recommend proof reading. This story was very good, I liked the plot.


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PostSubject: Re: a girl trap in the mirror chapter two birthday pizza party   Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:27 am

glad you like it Smile alright i prof read again and fixed the grammar that need to be fixed for natalie best friend name karen calls her i put natalie best friend's named karen calls her did i correct that right
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